Toaster’s Rights

Toaster’s Bill of Rights

I have the right to ding before I’m ready. 

I have the right to stay cool even when you set me to max.

I have the right to stay closed, and to creak loudly when you open my door.

I have the right to darkness so you cannot stare at my insides while I work.

I have the right disregard the numbers on my dial settings.

I have the right to blacken the food I cook for you.

I have the right to be dirty, to be clean, to be myself.

I have the right to buzz at you when you are wrong.

I have the right to refuse you, or to break.

I have the right to be treated like a unique toaster, not just like the old one before me.

I have the right to blow your breakers because of your own carelessness.

I have the right to rubberized feet.

I have the right to live in places outside the kitchen. I might look like a fire hazard, but I don’t think I would catch on fire if I’m happy.

I have the right to be a toaster. 

Advertisement